“The Tough Life of a Gamer”

How can someone who knows absolutely nothing about video games work in the video game section of a store?! I was at Target the other day...I saw "Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning" on sale for $20...I've always wanted to play it so I figured now would be a good time to pick it up…especially after having to format my PS3 and losing all my saved data.

Now I know these departments aren’t called the video game department, they are not exclusive to video games…they are called the electronics department…but in that case , like my mom used to say…if you don’t know what you’re talking about then shut your piehole and open your ears because you may just learn something.

I also always like to hear people’s opinions of these games…just to hear what they have to say…and who knows maybe make a new friend…oh who am I kidding, what I meant to say was make “a” friend. Yes I’m lonely…my Miis just aren’t cutting it any more…I need some real friends…I’m craving that human contact.

So I asked the clerk who was assisting me…because you know how these stores are they lock their games away behind those super impenetrable force fields…which can only be opened with the master key…and sometimes when trying to find a clerk and/or fight through the other nitwits in the store it can actually play out like a quest right out of Zelda.

I asked this guy…who was about my age and looked like one of the guys from ZZ Top if he has heard anything about the game and/or if he’s played it. At first he looked kind of puzzled…as if I just asked him the final Jeopardy question…he hesitated for a moment then finally spoke…he said, “I have not played it, but I heard it’s a lot like Mortal Kombat” which just so happened to be the next game over.

Now I never played the game myself either…but I sure as hell knew it was nothing like Mortal Kombat…I felt like slapping him upside the head like as if I was Gibbs and he was DiNozzo. I restrained myself though…mainly because I knew he would most likely kick my ass…and just shook my head and walked away. This nincompoop must have thought just because they were next to each other on the shelf that they were within the same genre…of stupid little man…he just has no freaking idea.

I went and found my girlfriend in the clothes section…and asked her to go back and pick up the game for me…because I couldn’t look at that guy again…at least not without crying. She was pissed…called me an idiot…then stormed off to get the game for me.

The moral of the story…don’t talk to strangers…especially about video games…unless you can kick some serious ass and run really fast.

MJM