"The Sad Tale of a Gamer Getting Older"

A story of an old and cranky gamer, who was once king, but now because of life and advancements in technology is now nothing more than a court jester.

I know I'm not considered old in the traditional sense being only thirty-five and all, like I won't be getting a discount on my meal at Denny's anytime soon, but as far as my skill level when it comes to gaming is concerned, I feel like I'm Joan Rivers. It breaks my heart to know I was once a butt kicker, now unfortunately thanks to father time, I'm more of a butt licker...so sad!

I remember when the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES for short) was the gaming system to own. I could beat any game, right out of the box with no help whatsoever...no manuals, no cheats (up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A my arse) and no Game Genies needed. I was the go-to guy whenever anybody got into trouble, if they couldn't solve a particular puzzle, if they couldn't beat an end boss or even if they just needed to beat a high score or time limit...I was the person they called...and that made me proud. That may not mean anything to all you people with friends, but to me, being a "gamer", it meant the world.

During the time of the Super NES and the Genesis era, I was still a force to be reckoned with, without a doubt. Of course not as fierce of one as I was with the NES, but nonetheless, I could still hold my own.

It was during the Dreamcast, N64 and PS days where I could tell I was starting to slip, I wasn't quite ready to be put out to pastor just yet, but I knew something was wrong. I remember blaming life for my video game inadequacies, telling everyone it was only because I couldn't game as much, that was why I was not as good anymore, if I was to have the time I would still be the (blaster) master.

I really started feeling myself going downhill during the Nintendo Gamecube and PS2 era; however, I remained steadfast that I wasn't losing my touch...you know, the denial stage of life. I avoided playing, thinking if I didn't have to experience the "sucking" first-hand then it was all good, like nothing was changing and I was still the man...or so I thought.

Now with the Xbox 360, PS3 and the Wii I find myself sitting two feet from the TV just to see the screen, at times even feeling dizzy because of the camera movement and taking a heck of a lot more time to beat these freaking games then I would have back in my heyday! I couldn't believe it, I felt as if I out stayed my welcome...I was like the grandpa trying to hang in the club with all the kids.

I hear people talk about friends they game with and of course I assume they're talking about a buddy sitting on the couch next to them like it was back in the day, but they're referring to someone they never met in person before and have only dealt with online...what the poop. Also, why the H E double hockey sticks do people say "LOL" instead of actually laughing or "BRB" instead of saying I'll be right back, is it a way of being cool or something? I can completely understand doing those things through text messages or IM, but in real life, come on man!

I don't really have an issue with any of these things, but just like all old people I like to complain about the new generation and of course tell long winded stories about how I had it much harder than them, as I'm sure you can tell by this post alone. I'll play video games until the day I die, I'll be gray and wrinkled, using a walker and wearing Depends, all the while still playing video games. I guess there are some good things about becoming an old gamer, like I'll have my walker handy if I do happen get dizzy, my Depends on so if I need to use the bathroom I won't have to stop playing and if I do poorly or if the game sucks, I'll forget about it in a couple of minutes as if it never happened.

MJM