Campers,
snipers, run-and-gunners, these are not new marshmallows in Lucky Charms, but
rather playing styles in online multiplayer games such as Call of Duty, Halo
and Battlefield.
These games
aren’t easy by any means, especially for those of us who don’t have the
opportunity, or desire, to devote every waking moment of our lives playing them
and mastering them.
There are
also a lot of kids, oh God I hope they’re kids, who make this online world
sound like a disgruntled trucker’s convention, who all have been sucking on
helium balloons and have an unhealthy obsession with everyone’s mother.
However,
all things considered these games are actually a lot of fun, of course not the
best video game you’ll ever play, but nevertheless still an enjoyable experience
and one that you should partake in at least once before you leave this
miserable mud ball we call a planet if you call yourself a gamer.
For the
record, the actual gameplay is not why I recommend playing games like these,
but more so because the people playing them are frigging hilarious to listen
to.
The things
people say when playing online multiplayer games, especially when losing, is
pure ear gold, it’s as if someone left the door open to the insane asylum and equipped
all the inmates with microphones.
They freak
the freak out like nobody’s business; they get all worked up like Al Sharpton does
when he sees an opportunity to get into the spotlight, it’s freaking fantastic
to say the least.
The audible
equivalent of Jerry Springer, mixed with a little bit of those playground
antics from back in the day, you hear such pearls of wisdom as, “your face” and
“I hope you die in a fiery car crash”, nerd rage at its finest.
Cyberspace
is full of a bunch of racist bastards who all seem to suffer from Tourette's, whose soul purpose is to completely annoy the living, it’s like night of
the living teabaggers out there.
So come for
the game and stay for the show, trust me all the deranged fun you’ll have will
make it very much worth getting your ass pwned and being called a noob so much
that you actually start thinking it’s your name.
MJM
